Stuck in an Elevator

 Sarah Palin?!?  Really guys?  I looked like Sarah Palin in my sweater and fake glasses?

My vision is 20/20, but if this ever changes, we can safely say I’ll be getting contacts.  No need to be associated with the crazies.

And that’s probably the most you’ll ever hear me speak on any political issue.

I’m just giving you guys a hard time.  I will say she is semi-attractive, and there are worse political figures to resemble.

Like Janet Reno.

Kelly tagged me in this little survey the other day, and since I’m spending a good amount of time wrapping up loose ends and traveling (ie not much writing going on), I thought you could get to know me a little better. :)

1. Vacation: beach or mountains?  This could not be an easier choice for me.  The beach.  I crave the sand and sun. Anyone want to take me on vacation soon?  This winter crap is really wearing me down.

2. Luggage: check it or carry it on? Carry on. Or at least I’m going to attempt that with my overstuffed bag before I pay the fees.  Unless my shoes are also being served a meal, I don’t think they should pay to be on the plane. 

3. Bed: make it or leave it a rumpled comfy mess? Are my parents coming to visit?  If so, I make it.  Otherwise, it’ll most likely be a “straightened mess”.

4. Races: smaller or bigger? A happy medium.  Bigger can get annoying because I hate playing the “dodge all the other runners and try not to get stepped on” game.  Just make sure I have room to run.  Then the size isn’t as big of a thing.  But not small enough where it’s not chip-timed.  I’m way too obsessive compulsive about my race times.  I need exact splits! 

5. Toilet paper roll: over or under? Being as how I spend extensive amounts of time thinking about this as I change the roll, my answer is… oh wait.  I don’t.  Um.  Probably under?  I couldn’t even tell you what it is in my bathroom right now.

6. Pancakes: thick and fluffy or thin and crepe-like? Thick and fluffy.  The closer to the consistency of cake it is, the happier Amy is.  Too thin makes it a crepe.  Then it’s not a pancake.  It’s a crepe.  Get it straight.

7. Alarm: get up or hit snooze? Get up. Snooze is way too dangerous. What would most likely happen is that I would turn it completely “off” instead.  And that’s a world of trouble.  If we’re being honest, I rarely ever get to the alarm part of waking up, anyways. I hate the sound so much, it’s like my body purposely wakes me up a couple minutes beforehand.

I’m not going to tag people, but I do want you to answer a question anyways (because I do what I want).

You’re stuck on a broken elevator.  What celebrity do you want in there with you?  And why (remember, there ARE cameras in elevators)? I’m gonna go with Chelsea Handler on this one.  Assuming we’d pass the time with an extremely entertaining conversation and that she is equipped with adult hydration of some sort.  This is logical to me because if I’m on an elevator, it’s most likely in my office building and I’m in no hurry to get out and go back to work.  I’d rather wait it out…

Well I’m about to jump into work and get this show on the road.

Mon has today off, so she’ll be popping in with lunch at noon.  I couldn’t be happier about this. Firstly, because I get to see my friend before I go home.  Secondly, because I had slimmed down the food to the point where the only things laying around that are fresh are half a red onion in the refrigerator and two pieces of bread on the counter.

Take a guess at which one of those items I had for breakfast.

And yes, I’m THAT good at meal planning before a traveling weekend.

Anyhoo, I’ll catch you tomorrow when I’m in Missouri. Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll even throw in a couple “ya’lls” and such to match the accent I’m sure to pick back up.  I’m horrible about copying the people around me.  Since moving a few years ago, I’ve dropped some of my southern drawl (where I’m from, it’s not heavy, but still present) and do have a bit of a “Chicago accent”. Then I go home and a bit more of that drawl creeps back in. 

The combination of the two just make me sound like a lost soul.  *Sigh.

Stop rambling, Amy.  Time to go.

Where’s my giant travel mug?

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36 Responses

  1. I read this random Marian Keyes book once where the main character’s best friend kept telling her that only um, loose women (he used a different word) don’t make their beds (she was messy). For some reason, this had a profound effect on me and I started making my bed every day for a couple years (seriously, what is wrong with me?). Then I gave up and just started shutting the door–plus, that doesn’t even make sense. For some reason I felt it necessary to share this with you. Merry Christmas!

  2. James Franco…oh wait, there are cameras??

    Sarah Silverman. She is a funny bitch and I think we’d crack each other up.

  3. AHHAHAHA I’m sorry. Look, at least you don’t have one billion kids with names like Twig and Airedale.

    I would totally pick Jon Stewart. He’s funny – and MARRIED, yes, I know. And if he wasn’t available, then Spencer Pratt, just because I want to know if he’s as bad as he seems.

  4. Oh my gosh, I LOVED your ugly holiday sweater! I have a feeling my mom has a sweater exactly like that in her closet. ;-)

    I would DEFinitely choose Chelsea Handler (not to copy you)…..or Dave Chappelle. Pretty much, if you’re going to be stuck somewhere, might as well choose to be with someone hysterically funny, right? Or Ryan Reynolds…..pretty sure I’d know how to pass the time with him.

  5. Ummmm……..I’d pick Justin Timberlake any day. But with my luck I’d be in my post-workout sweat hog stage……

  6. haha I think I wouldnt mind being trapped with chelesea and “adult beverages” either. it would be fun times undoubtedly =)

    and omg you do not look like sarah palin. bah. you look like YOU =)

  7. Haha I say ya’ll, I justify it by saying I lived in VA for four years during college, and now I’m back!

    I have no idea who I would want to be stuck in an elevator with. Ummmm Lindsay Lohan? I bet she’d be insane and hilarious, and also prob have some booze on her.

  8. Ok, I’m super excited about the fact that you have an accent! I love accents!! :)

    I would love to be stuck with Chelsea Handler – that would be a good time. But since you said her already, that would make me super unoriginal. So I’m saying Victoria Beckham. I just love her and I think she’s really funny.

    If there were NO cameras in the elevator, I could come up with a long list for you, and some highly inappropriate activity suggestions. But I won’t go there.

  9. I thought you looked adorbs. Not Sarah Palin at all. Ick. I say “ya’ll” on the regular! Have a safe and fun trip!

  10. You’re like Sarah Palin’s hot cousin, Stacy Palin. haa:)

  11. First of all, over is the only way to do the toilet paper thing, and I expect you to get up and go fix yours right now.

    Back?

    I want to be stuck in an elevator with Brad Pitt. I don’t care if there are cameras. In fact, I’d like there to be so I can reply what went down into my 90s. And be happy.

  12. Lisa Lampanelli for sure. (Because of the cameras).

  13. hmmmmmm. i’m going to go with katie on wanting there to be cameras. for posterity you know. but i’m going to pick robert downey jr. hot.

  14. I would have to say Oprah as they would likely come to open the elevators a little faster with her in there. I’m a little scared of this scenario, can you tell? :)

  15. I guess I can see Sarah Palin a little bit in that picture now that you mention it. But that’s only a bad thing if you are an idiot like her (which you’re not!). I think she’s very attractive…and I think she uses that 9024% to her advantage. Hey, she needs all the help she can get.

    I would love to be stuck in an elevator with my husband. Because if I were stuck, I’d be freaking out…and he’s the only one who can talk me down.

    And I know what you mean about the accent. Being from Chicago I never knew I had an accent until I moved to Tulsa. And then I got an Okie accent QUICK! My bff would laugh hysterically when we talked. Now that I’m back up north, my Okie is all gone…and I miss it!!!!!!

    Safe travels home! Enjoy the holidays!

  16. Oh you sweet thing…I will never compare you to Sarah Palin (no one deserves that!) I would love to be stuck in an elevator with Natalie Portman. I have a serious girl-crush on her. I think she is so beautiful :-) I hope you have a great afternoon. Stay warm and safe!

  17. I would want to be stuck on the elevator with someone funny who didn’t get claustrophobic. Tell me who that person is and I pick them.

  18. Sorry for saying you resembled the Ice Palin.

    I am jealous of your beautiful Christmas tree loaded with presents!

  19. Ha, this is too funny and you totally resemble her in that picture!

  20. Sorry but I was going to say about Sarah Palin too!!! Maybe it was just the angle of your face. Or maybe you look like Tina Fey’s sarah palin—is that a little more bearable???

    Safe travels!

  21. OK I did NOT see Sara Palin!
    Be safe driving down to Missouri! If your route times change and you end up stopping in Normal, feel free to give me a holler :)

  22. Ellen, no doubt! I love her.

    Have a safe trip!

  23. Chelsea Handler was hands down the best pick – I would pick her too!!

    And you really do look like Palin in that pic.. hehe! :)

  24. Ok I would flip sh** if someone said I looked like Janet Reno—thank God you got Palin-eyzed. Get it Palin-ized, eyzed–glasses? Yes, no? I’m delirious, sorry. I think I would pick Kathy Griffin so I could get all the celebrity gossip from her, I think we could be besties.

    Have a safe trip and a Merry Christmas!!

  25. Peyton Manning…definitely. I am totally obsessed I know.

  26. [...] I just say I find your answers to the elevator question [...]

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